Stand Up!

Many professionals (of all ages) have slipped into the bad habit of… sitting down when we should be standing up!

Oh, sure, the pandemic lockdown/work from home made us a bit casual [frustrated/depressed/lethargic/lazy/overly comfortable… working from home and wearing slippers and pajama pants], but it’s time to pull ourselves back together for the sake of respect and professionalism!

Does this ring a bell?

Ask yourself if you do (or would be likely to do) the following:

  • On a video call, do you make presentations from a seated position?
  • In an in-person meeting, do you make presentations from a seated position?
  • In an in-person audience participation situation, such as a large room/auditorium/conference center, would you ask a question of the speaker from a seated position?

If yes to any of these, I challenge you to take this simple step to increase the professionalism and effectiveness of what you have to say: STAND UP.

If you have something that is worth saying,
it is worth saying standing up?

Being shy is not an excuse. Just do it.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Here’s why: Standing up to speak is an opportunity to present YOURSELF in your best light and makes for a higher quality experience for everyone, however subtle. (When I RECORD my lectures for my asynchronous college lectures, I stand up! All by myself, alone at the bar in my basement, and my recordings are better for it.) Just as you would never sing in a choir from a seated position, you should never present yourself sitting down.

When you stand to speak…

  • You project your voice better; people are better able to hear you.
  • Your body language and hand gestures come naturally and reinforce what you are saying, making your communication more clear, and frankly, make it easier for YOU to express yourself. You are more animated and your speech comes more easily! (Try speaking while sitting on your hands. Difficult for some. Impossible for others.)
  • Others give you their attention; they are less distracted – looking at a person is more engaging than looking at a crowd and not knowing where the voice is coming from.
  • Certainly, it shows respect, to everyone in the room but also to the speaker, if you are asking a question of a presenter: They know where to look and to whom to address their response.
  • You have more confidence and credibility when you stand up when you speak. Standing up gives your words more importance that those spoken from your seat.
  • The presentation is just better, more energetic! Honestly, we sit in enough meetings and presentations; we sit at desks all day long. Get up! Get your blood flowing. It’s more interesting for EVERYONE.

It’s disappointing to see how accepted is now is to make business presentations from a seated position – not just on video calls, of course, but even in person, in a conference room in front of colleagues or clients!

Presenting sitting down feels disrespectful to others and to yourself, undermining the importance and effort put into the presentation!

When I work hard on a report for my clients, I want to present in the best possible way, with all the energy and enthusiasm that I feel about it and all the attention I – and the subject, and my clients – deserve!

Sitting down to present may not be inappropriate in ALL situations, but frankly, it lowers the energy. It’s boring. Plus, when you sit down to present, you have to work HARDER and to make your presentation feel engaging!

CHALLENGE: Practice your presentation standing up… and then practice it again sitting down. See the difference? I bet others would if they were watching! Don’t believe me? Try recording yourself both ways and note the difference! Working from home? Presenting via video conference? Try a stand up desk, or set up your laptop and camera on a stack of books at the kitchen counter or bar-height table/shelf.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Another benefit of standing up when you speak or present is the lasting IMPRESSION that you make on others and the subtle ways in which this can impact others’ opinions of you, your reputation and even your career.

Imagine you’re at a conference or seminar with a large group of people and the floor is opened to questions or discussion from the audience.

If you a) STAND UP to ask your question /express your thought, you are seen and heard because you are projecting your voice and emphasizing your point with gestures.

If you b): Ask your question from your seat, the audience and the person to whom you are directing your question may not know who is speaking or not hear everything you said.

But here’s the other part of these two scenarios that you might not have considered:

The potential residual benefit of standing up and being heard is this: Later, someone sees you in the hall and says, “Hey, great point… I’ve had that same experience…” or “I’m glad you asked that question…” This is a better experience for everyone and can have long term benefits. Standing up to participate in a setting like this is a better, more engaging, energetic and effective method!

Yes, perhaps I exaggerate a bit to make my point, this happens to me: People approach me after a conferences to follow up on my point/question and make the connection! (Conferences/seminars are great opportunities to network!)

One last reminder: Don’t worry so much about what everyone else is doing, especially your peers. Likely no one taught them about traditional business ettiquette like this. Experienced adults can be just as uncomfortable and insecure about speaking in front of others as you are. They sometimes take the easy way out too, by staying seated.

Okay, in your defense, if you’re really thinking, “What if it’s seriously awkward to stand up?” Then DON’T, by all means! But you can always ask the person leading the meeting, “Would you mind if I stand up?” or “Is it appropriate for me to stand?” Likely, they will encourage you to do so and others will follow suit.

Maybe you will start a trend.

Others appreciate the confidence you exude when you stand to speak.

Photo by Jason Goodman on Unsplash

Should I Go to Graduate School?

Six Things to Consider First

Note:  This article does not necessarily apply to someone thinking about “Going back to school to get/finish a bachelor’s degree” because you had not previously. In most cases, though not all, the answer is “Yes”, but see “Alternatives to the 4-year Degree”.

I frequently have college interns, recent grads and young professionals asking my advice about “going back to school” (or staying in school, if they are still finishing up a Bachelor’s degree) for a Master’s Degree.

Again, you know what’s best for you, so this is a decision for no one but you (and your family if applicable). With that said, here are 6 things to consider before you make a graduate school decision.

1. Is a Graduate Degree required for your Career?

If your desired career REQUIRES a graduate degree, then yes, of course. For example, if you know you want to be a veterinarian, or a dentist, or a social worker, you know you are going to need a Master’s Degree. 

Otherwise, typically it is not required. But whether it is or isn’t, you might consider taking a school break between undergraduate and graduate school for a year or two to work in your chosen field and get some real experience that you might not get in an internship.

2. If not required, explore WHY you want a Graduate Degree.

And I don’t mean that someone told you “You can’t get a job without an MBA anymore,” or “Pretty much all companies require an MBA these days,” because that is decidedly NOT true.

I highly recommend you take a deep breath and spend some time thinking seriously about WHY you would do it.  

Are you sure you are not just choosing graduate school because you don’t know what else to do?

Because you don’t like first or second job out of college?

Because you think you can earn a ton more money (keeping in mind the debt you will incur)?

Are you so fascinated by the field that you don’t want to stop learning about it?  I’m guessing probably not. Most people, at the end of four years (or, your whole life, assuming you went straight from high school into college), are ready for a breather.

And, if you had to finance all or some of your bachelor’s degree, I suggest pausing to pay that off instead of piling more on.  (See point #4.)

Some people choose to go straight from undergrad to grad school because “the economy sucks and it’s going to be impossible to get a job anyway.” Hmmm…  If you have reviewed all these other questions and you would otherwise work for a while before grad school, I would go for the work and don’t use the economy as an excuse. There are almost always career-related jobs out there for people who are hungry.  

If you REALLY want to know if the “economy sucks”, in YOUR field, do some research on (Browse “Bright Outlook Occupations” before you use the economy as an excuse.)  Direct Link:

3. WILL YOU GO BACK later, if you don’t go straight from undergrad?

You know yourself.  Can you make the commitment? If you are afraid that you’ll really never go back if you don’t just do it now, then maybe you should go straight to grad school if you’ve considered all these other things. 

Of course: Life gets in the way.  You get a job you love and there’s no time or money to go back.  You get married, have kids, there’s not time to go back… 

On the other hand, working for a few years might reinforce, focus or spark your desire to go back later! If the answer to this question, “Should I go to graduate school”, after doing all your research, is not clear to you IN YOUR GUT, I suggest the answer to the “Should I go to grad school” question is, “Right now, no.”

Story: I had ZERO interest in going to grad school after I earned my Bachelor’s Degree. After I worked for four or five years at a small agency, I realized the work I was doing was repetitive there was no real opportunity for growth in the market I was working in. I just knew in my GUT that I was capable of more.  My mentor was really pushing me to get my MBA, but that didnt excite me. (Accounting, Finance, Management – barf!)

I spent some time researching graduate programs and talking to people, and found one that felt designed JUST FOR ME! I was ecstatic! (Furthermore, while IN grad school, I discovered the very specific career that I fell in love with – one that I didn’t even know existed.)

4. How will you pay for it?

If you thought undergraduate school was expensive, wait until you see the cost of a graduate school credit hour! What will your earning potential be with a Master’s degree? 

If you think your current employer will suddenly give you a big fat raise once you’ve earned a master’s degree, you better check on that first! Most times, you’ll get NO raise (and I know many people who will attest to this)! It’s highly possible you will have to switch jobs to see a salary increase.)

If you’re earning $40,000 year and going to grad school will increase your salary to $80,000/year, that sounds like a great investment.  But is that the case?  Or, are you simply piling this debt on top of other school debt?

Will an employer pay for it?  If you are currently employed, that is a great question to pursue.  (If you’re not currently employed, or the answer to the previous question is “no”, consider finding a job at a company that DOES offer education reimbursement program.) Many do, with limitations:  They might pay a certain percentage, if you get an A or B. They might only pay for classes (or a degree) highly-related to your job, etc. Regardless, this is an incredible opportunity to take advantage of. If you think graduate school might be in your future, when you are applying for a full-time job after college, be sure to ask your employer if they offer tuition reimbursement!

5. Are there other options, besides a graduate degree?

What about formal training or certifications that will better forward your career at a fraction of the cost? In fact, there are some certifications available for free, or at nominal cost, online. Your employer might pay for these as well, if they are related to your job responsibilities.

You owe yourself the time and effort of some research on this before you make a graduate school decision.

6. Talk to people with Master’s degrees (ideally, in your desired field).

Have you been serious about your research? Are you SURE this is the field you want to be in for 20+ years, before you make this commitment?  You owe yourself the effort of talking to a few people who have graduate degrees in your field of interest. Ask them how they decided. Ask them about the cost vs. the benefits. Ask them about the program – how it worked, the quality, the cost, the time committment. Ask them how it has helped them, specifically? Did their salary level change?

You can ask people you know, or ask friends of friends. (This is where your network comes in handy, and is a great opportunity to spark a conversation at a networking event.) Send out a call to your network on social media. Most people will be happy to tell you their opinions.


Here’s my best advice about going to graduate school: Unless a graduate degree is required for your chosen field, or you KNOW you want a graduate degree BUT believe you will never go back if you don’t do it right now:

You will get more out of graduate school
if you work for a few years before you go.”

-Kim Bailiff (yes, this is my own quote.)

Why? Because learning is about context. 

Life is about applying the CONCEPTS that you learn in school to life experiences. 

Otherwise, they are just floating around in your head as ambiguous, theoretical ideas.  When I graduated from college and someone asked, “What did you learn?” I was like… “Uhhhh….”

I knew I got a good education… but I couldn’t tell you what I was going to be able to actually DO. Because I hadn’t really done it yet (other than some cool internships that had me doing more minor, tactical stuff.)

Ever wonder why “case studies” are so helpful when you are learning concepts? It’s APPLYING the concepts. 
If you work for a few years before grad school, you will have your own experiences to apply concepts to.

The benefits of working a few years before grad school cannot be underestimated:

  • You will be better able to internalize what you learn by thinking of how it would apply in a real life work situation. It will feel more tangible.  It will stick in your brain better. You will get so much more out of what you learn!
  • You will be able to contribute more. You’ll ask better questions. Your classmates and professors will appreciate your ability to share relevant experiences. 

    Story: When I started grad school, I had roughly 5 years of work experience, which gave me plenty of context.  My classmates who came straight from undergrad had little to share and, I fear, had a harder time absorbing the concepts. 

    I distinctly remember feeling a little sorry for one classmate who seemed to often have a blank look on her face when the professor was explaining concepts… Unless she always looked like that... (Resting Confused Face?)

Again, as always, the decision is yours to make but, given the investment (time and money), it should not be taken lightly. 

I hope this helps give you some direction, or at least, food for thought.

8 Tools for Working from Home (with ADHD)

Some of you might find yourself working from home these days. I was asked for advice by a colleague who also has adult ADHD, so I wrote this blog post.  Whether you have ADHD (or a family member does) or not, it might come in handy.

Last year, I had the opportunity to start a new full-time salaried job… or work for myself, from home. I took the leap and I love it; I could never go back. However…

Working from home is an entirely different experience – mostly good… with some challenges.

Now that I work from home, I’ve had two huge epiphanies:

  • How much time working in an office is WASTED.  Commute is the obvious one.  Also, short interruptions, “emergency” interruptions, administrative bullshit, useless meetings, chatting in the hallways. I mean, literally 50% of the day. Of course, the social part is good time wasting.
  • How much an imposed schedule keeps someone on track – especially someone with ADHD.  When you have to be at the office a certain time; attend meetings at a certain time; people popping in to say, “Is that done yet?”; lunch at a certain time; needing to get something done before you walk out the door at the end of the day…. 

First, working from home lets me “waste” my time in a way that is enjoyable for me, whether it’s doing a puzzle, organizing something or playing a game on my phone. It doesn’t feel wasted because whatever I choose to do is my choice.  Doing chores makes me less stressed about all the stuff there is to do that you would typically have to cram into an evening or weekend.

On the other hand, with minimal imposed schedule, I’m a hot mess. The subject of which is the purpose of this post.

For my husband, an introvert and an engineer, who also works from home, it’s all upside. (His long commute crushed his soul and he arrived home exhausted each night after more interaction than ideal.)  Working at home, he is methodical in his schedule, getting up at a regular hour, eating breakfast, heading to his office and focusing intently until a set lunchtime, repeat…etc….   He’s a discipline machine!

For an extrovert with ADHD, working from home is so much “MESSIER”!

It has taken me a long time to figure out how to be both happy, relaxed AND productive and I’m still figuring it out. 

Here are some suggestions that work for me, keeping in mind that I’m no expert on Adult ADHD, working from home nor productivity, as anyone who knows me will tell you.  But here are some thought starters.

  1. Sound.  Silence is deafening. Find music that works for you. (I find lyrics distracting). This also keeps your brain from listening to what else is going on in the house that will distract you (e.g. my teens around these days, as school is shut down for coronavirus.)

  2. Lists. This might be a no-brainer but OVERUSE them – you need them now more than ever. Keep them simple and IN YOUR FACE. Separate them by work, personal tasks, personal rewards/treats.  STAR the “MUST DO’s” for today. Put critical items on your calendar to make sure it gets done, and you’ve allocated a specific time for it.

  3. Timers. Consider using a timer. A LOT. This is a HUGE one for me.  When I’m struggling to sit down and crank something out, I set a time for 15 minutes and “force” myself to do it.  Ideally, within 15 minutes, I’m “in the zone” and when the timer rings, I keep going and reset it for another 15.  

    If I’m NOT in the zone, I do something else (either at my desk or away from it), ideally, for 15 minutes – maybe even reward or shut my brain off by playing my stupid game addiction that I am too embarrased to name… Okay, Heart’s Medicine, Doctor’s Oath). Then come back and do another 15 minutes of whatever task I am struggling with until it’s done. Then I reward myself again.  Good Lord, I’m like a goddamn toddler!

    Incidentally, a timer is also great for reminding yourself that you have a meeting coming up.  I’m ashamed to say that I have OFTEN been late for a meeting because I got distracted by… anything other than the clock. (You know: You look at the clock and you’re like, “Oh, my meeting isn’t for 23 minutes.” Then you look again and you’re 5 minutes late! Set the timer at 23 minutes out.)

  4. Rewards:  Speaking of which, don’t underestimate the power of letting your amazing, busy, brilliant ADHD brain rest!  Expecting to be constantly productive all day is completely unrealistic and unfair.  Turn it off when you need to turn it off.  Know yourself.  (See Socializing, Exercise or “Stupid game addiction”.) I also recommend puzzles, knitting, TV or whatever does it for you.

  5. Socialize:  If you are an extrovert, this is going to be critical for you to work into your day.  It can be coffee out (or in, given COVID), a walk (with a friend, 6 feet apart), a phone call, Facetime, social media if that’s all you got. Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If a game with your kid does it for you – go for it. Importantly, set expectations on timing with whomever you are socializing with.
    “Hi, Mom! I’m really glad to chat with you, but just to warn you, I have a hard stop for a meeting in 30 minutes.” (It’s a white lie to keep you on track today. And “Hard Stop” sounds super important.)

  6. Know Your Body Clock. Pay attention to your typical productivity rhythms and take advantage of them!  It took me a long time to realize that there are times when my brain lets me really focus, and times when…not so much. I still haven’t figured it out but I am experimenting. (e.g. I know that my ADHD medication crashes around 3 p.m., so 3 pm is a great time for a 20-30 minute nap, yoga or walk. Conversely, a meeting can jolt your brain back into a good rhythm.)

    I know I can crank it out from 10-12 p.m. but that interferes with my sleep and sometimes 10 p.m. is the only time I have a real actual focused conversation with my husband, though he knows and respects this is truly peak productivity time for me, so usually he just goes to bed without me.

    Don’t schedule the socializing or errands or even meetings and appointments, if you can help it, during your peak productivity time. Save that time when you need individual work time! Alternately, work around important other obligations, like preparing dinner (when school is in, transporting kids) knowing that you will need to stop then. Use it to your advantage, e.g. “It’s 4 p.m.  I’m going to get THIS done by 5 p.m. so I can start making dinner.”

  7. Exercise. This is good on so many levels, but especially important for ADHDers. Make time for it ever day, however it works for you. (Basement workout equipment? Video exercise? DANCE PARTY! Ping Pong/Table tennis is surprisingly exhausting!) A double bonus is exercise AND a change of scenery. Explore nearby walking trails. There are so many and getting out of the neighborhood is psychologically uplifting.

  8. Patience.  Be patient with yourself. Don’t create a schedule for yourself and then berate yourself for not keeping it! Like I said, it’s been over a year and I’m still trying to figure myself out. Look at yourself as a unique project. You are AWESOME and your brain is a complex machine that needs practice, or trial and error, to use optimally! 

Other ideas?  Let me know what works for you and as I think of more things myself, I will add them here.

Working from home is a gift.   

ADHD is a gift.

Choosing a Career – For Job Satisfaction

Preamble: I started writing this blog a long time ago , the summer of 2019, after finishing my Certification in Career Services. The most valuable thing learned was this simple, free and effective way to help people choose a career. I followed the process myself and also “tested” it a lot on others. If they already knew what they wanted to do, this process aligned incredibly well. It validated their career choice. In other words: IT WORKS.

I was finally inspired to hurry up and post this while teaching a college marketing course. I asked my students, after learning that they all graduate this year, if they knew what they were going to do with their business degrees. Not one raised their hands.

Oh, no! No more procrastinating! Here it is! DIVE IN and give yourself the gift of a motivating goal and purpose!

First, choosing a career is a process that involves a lot of self-awareness and reflection.  You’re not going to decide in one sitting.  But you may be pressured to choose before you feel really ready, for example, so you don’t waste time and money taking college classes that you won’t end up applying to degree or certification. 

Karen and I launched “No Filter…” because we saw too many students “forced” to choose their careers at a pretty young age without a lot of information.  We’ve also repeatedly heard students say that they took assessments that were NOT helpful: “My assessment said I should be an artist.”  Could that be any more vague?

The goal of this blog is to give you some tools to get a better idea of SPECIFIC options and then give you some tips on how to explore them to find, hopefully, a really good FIT for you. Best of all, this method (specifically the assessment), besides being free and easy, is actually proven to lead to job SATISFACTION.

Here are the steps:

STEP ONE:  Go to  

You can explore this site any way that you like, but I recommend you start out by clicking on the blue square button to search by “Interest” in the upper right (it’s a little face). You can go directly there through this link:  This website is part of O*Net Online, a site run by the US Department of Labor and Statistics using huge amounts of data to help people select a career!  It’s amazing. (Yes, i just said “Government and amazing” in the same breath.)

It will take you to the Interest Profiler, which is based on a theory created by John Holland, called The Holland Assessment, Holland Personality Test, Holland Code, RAISEC, etc.  Basically, it identified six personality types related to career and vocational choice. They are Realistic, Artistic, Investigative, Social, Enterprising, Conventional (RAISEC). 

Take this assessment (10 minutes, max) and then write down or print out your score for your career portfolio. You will have a number by each of the six types.
Example, my code is SAE: I scored highest in Social (shock), Artistic, then Enterprising. 

STEP TWO:  With your code in hand, go to

You are going to use your code to find SPECIFIC careers or jobs to match it.

From the home screen, go to “O*NET DATA, and select the drop down “interests”.  (Note, they changed this, so I just updated this 9-18-22.)

Then it will show you the screen with the six words.  Click on the one that you scored highest on.

For example, I would click on “Social”, because my highest number was 26 in Social.  If you want, you can go straight to this page:  and then click on your highest-scoring word. That will take you to the page that shows your highest letter in the first position and then you can enter the next two letters in the boxes that say “None selected.”

So, then I drop down to my next highest scoring ones in the second and third boxes and click “Go”…

ISNT THIS EXCITING! Look! It says I should be an Annoucer! LOL! YES! Or a Teacher, Teacher, Teacher. WHAT A COINCIDENCE, I’M A TEACHER!

STEP THREE:  The next thing you will need to do is select your job zone. 

That means HOW MUCH preparation you would be willing to do/plan to do/have done to get a job. If you just want an entry level job, straight out of high school, choose Zone 1.  If you’re willing to go get your PhD, choose Zone 5.  If you get an Associate’s degree or a Vocational Certification, maybe Zone 2 or 3.  A Bachelor’s Degree, 3 or 4.  You can play with it. You’ll see what I mean when you see the results.

STEP FOUR:  Play around!

If the list you see at first doesnt excite you, try different things. Enter different job zones. If there aren’t enough choices for you or you don’t like these choices, try entering just TWO LETTERS OF YOUR CODE!  Play around with one Job Zone or all 5. 

Review the different job titles and click on the ones that intrigue you. Read about them.  Note whether this is a job labeled as “Bright Outlook” which means there will be lots of these jobs open… or not!  Look at the salary range.  Can you get all your needs (and wants) met with that salary range?

Be sure to explore a few or more of the job titles that appeal to you.  This website has lots of interesting information, but you will want to do your own research too on other websites.  Have fun finding the options that you’ll want to look into further.

Even if you think you already know what you want to do, I still encourage you to take the assessment to learn your code (and print it out/write it down, save it for when you want to come back so you wont have to do it again. And, incidentally, if I didnt already say so, I have taken this assessment several times and it always comes out pretty similarly, so dont think it was just because you are ain a bad mood or something.)

But if you know, for example, that you have your undergraduate degree in, English or History and you’re thinking you might want to get a Master’s Degree in Library Science, do a key word search for Librarian or similar to see what specific jobs are related! There are SO MANY! Trust me! Have fun and…


P.S. If you have any feedback on how this process worked for you, or how to make it better, let us know in the comments below.

Building Your Personal Brand

What does THAT mean? 

Everyone is familiar with brand names like Coke, Amazon, Apple, Starbucks… You can probably name 100. And when you think of a brand name, certain images or impressions come to mind, right? For example, when I think of a brand like Old Navy… I think inexpensive or sales; low (but passable) quality; play clothes (jeans, shorts, t-shirts, sundresses, flip flops) kids clothes; easy to shop; playful or fun. 

When it comes to shoe retailer brands, you probably have very different impressions of DSW vs. vs. Famous Footwear vs. Payless. MOST those brands impressions (the positive ones) are very deliberately created and reinforced by their marketing department in all of their communications and ideally, also in the way they run their company.

Companies are thoughtful and deliberate in building their brands and you should be too!

So, let’s say you are going to market your own brand, Brand [insert your name here]. In your personal and professional life, what words do people associate with you?  What words do you WANT them to associate with you? 

Building your personal brand means that YOU make an effort to influence what people associate you with, because whether you want them to or not, THEY WILL ASSOCIATE YOU WITH SOMETHING. So you should take control of it.

Personally, colleagues might think of me as fun, loud, outgoing, caring and smart.  If you knew me, you’d figure most of that out in a few minutes. But professionally, I also want them to think of me as a marketing strategy expert, a skilled workshop facilitator, a dedicated mentor/career advice provider, reliable, passionate and dedicated…etc.  Those are things that you would be quick to discern about me.

So, I have to make sure that, whether they’ve worked with me OR NOT, they believe these things about me. These are the things they associate with me when they hear my name, receive my resume or job application or even if they ask someone about me. 

Things that make up our personal brand are:

  • Skills and experience:  expertise, education, training, certifications, past jobs
  • Work habits, e.g. meticulous, prompt, efficient, creative, inspiring
  • Personal traits/emotional appeal:  Outgoing, passionate, thoughtful, decisive

Consider unique words or ways to present these things. For example, instead of saying you are “hard-working”, say you are “dedicated” or “passionate.”  When you stand back and think about your personal brand, make sure it is compelling. If not, find words that inspire you (See Karen’s list, third page of the attachment below).

Beyond just living and working your personal brand, there are two ways to communicate and build it, once you have identified it.

Channels that you have total control over, like your resume, LinkedIn page and other social media channels (especially those an employer might see).

Make sure they reflect you and that the messages you are sending out about yourself are CONSISTENT.   Anything about you can contribute to your personal brand, including your email address, how you dress and present yourself, including your mannerisms like handshake, eye contact and speaking style!   

Impressions people build of you based on direct experience.  What people think of you and what they say about you can include endorsements or recommendations on LinkedIn but they can also include things someone might say about you when asked. These things might not be so good, so make sure that you are living up to the brand impressions that you INTEND.

For example, if you are always late, or cancel on people all the time; If you are are lazy, or gossipy, complaining/bad attitude or careless in your work, over time, from job to job, these impressions can stick with you. Of course, you will be given time to grow, learn and make mistakes, but the more you are aware of your brand perceptions, the more you will be able to work to cultivate what you want and who you really are.

If you are not sure what your personal brand is,
ask your teachers, bosses or mentors
to give you some feedback on your strengths and,
while you are at it, opportunities for growth.

The things other people say about you can also help you better understand what you are good at and what you should work on. 

Consider asking friends, family and colleagues five words that come to mind when they think about you or your work.  Story: I was surprised recently when I talked to several colleagues about my performance.  Three of them said something I hadn’t considered: I’m very good at taking in a lot of information, perspectives and opinions… and summarizing and articulating the broader themes and conclusions.  I didn’t even realize I was doing that.   What a great thing to communicate to potential/future clients/employers.

Attached below are a few worksheets that Karen has generously provided for you if you want to try them out for yourself. 

It is also worth noting that employers are increasingly using personality tests to find candidates that are a good fit for their culture. While there are many out there, I recommend that you invest in a book called “StrengthsFinder 2.0” by Gallup and Tom Rath. (You should be able to find it easily for $10-15.)

I love this assessment. It won’t help you choose a career (more on the Holland Code in our upcoming “How to Choose a Career” blog) but it will help you understand yourself and identify strengths that will help you articulate your brand.

Okay, get to it:  BUILD BRAND YOU!

Unsolicited and Unqualified Financial Advice

We are not Financial Advisers.

We are not financial advisers.

But we have a few things to tell you anyway just in case you aren’t going to hear it from anyone else before it’s too late.

We will keep it short.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of getting a REAL paycheck, especially when it’s 4-digits. 

But are you confident in managing your money besides paying your rent/mortgage, car payment, groceries, utilities…? Do you have a budget that includes saving or investing? Do you know what your actual monthly expenses are; Your monthly discretionary income after your bills are all paid? How much are you saving? Over the long term, can you afford the choices you make? What if your car breaks down or your dog gets sick – do you have emergency funds set aside?

Flying home from a conference last week, I sat next to an impressive young man named James (Hi, James!) who grew up not far from my home. After high school, James was fortunate enough to be offered a sales job making a pretty significant commission and was doing quite well for himself! 

But James didn’t really have someone to advise him in making good financial decisions. Quite the contrary, his employer even hooked him up (as well as his other handsome young employees) with a potentially shady accountant, putting James at serious risk for a rocky financial future.

Fortunately, James is smart and open-minded and listened to a few words from an opinionated mom-like stranger, as follows:

The average millionaire
becomes a millionaire
(and stays a millionaire)
because he/she lives
below his/her means.

What does that mean, to “live below your means”?

Most simply, don’t spend more than you have. In fact, don’t even spend everything you have. Save as much as you can (without being a complete cheap ass. Don’t argue over the restaurant bill unless your friend is in the habit of scamming out.)   This can be a hard thing to do. Just because you have the money and can AFFORD it, doesn’t mean to have to spend it. 

Buy a used car, not an expensive new or leased car. You don’t need a “nice” car. Why do you need a nice car? Why does ANYONE need an expensive car? Do you need to show clients that you are successful? Or are you really just showing them that you are materialistic and are making too much money off them? The only car you might need is a decent, reliable one. 

Don’t buy something on a credit card that you can’t afford to pay cash for. NEVER carry a balance on your credit card. Don’t use one if you can’t pay it off IN FULL every month.

(This is not only the smart thing to do, but you are also building your credit rating, something Americans are overly-obsessed with.)

Choose your friends wisely.
(This is no joke!) 
Don’t hang around with people that you feel pressured to keep up with, especially if they have expensive habits.
Find friends that are as careful with their money as you are,
or better yet, MORE careful.

“Your Rich Friends Could be Making You Poor”: Business Insider

Did you know that 70% of lottery winners file for bankruptcy within 3-5 years of winning?  Because they go hog wild!  They spend like crazy and they have a hard time saying no to demanding relatives and friends that crawl out of the woodwork asking for a handout.  Because they are not careful.

Contribute to your employer’s offered 401K. 
And, if they match, accept free money:
If your employer will match your 401K, contribute AT LEAST as much as they will match (e.g. 1%). If you can’t afford any more than that right now, fine, but take the free money. If you CAN afford it, contribute the MAXIMUM allowed! You’ll be glad you did!

You might think, “I don’t make enough money to afford to contribute to my 401K or to put anything in savings”.  Ah! Not true! Here are things to consider:

  • You CAN live without a few extra dollars a month.  People do it all the time. If the money never lands in your bank account, but goes straight into your retirement account, you’ll never miss it. 
  • Really sure you can’t live without that money right now?  The second you make a tiny bit more, immediately move the amount of your raise (or at least most of it. At least HALF of it, come on!) into a 401K account. Everyone knows the story about the tiny amount that you invest at age 25 will grow by leaps and bounds more than the amount you start investing at age 35.
  • NEVER EVER BORROW MONEY FROM YOUR OWN 401K.  Just don’t do it.  You’ll pay a penalty and you’ll never get yourself back up to speed.  Either don’t spend that money or think of some other creative (legal) way to get it, e.g. selling stuff on eBay or taking a temporary evening/weekend job. Even a small loan will hurt you less than “borrowing” from your 401k.

CRITICAL:  If you make commissions or some type of wage where taxes are not withheld, set 35% aside in a savings account from each paycheck. 
You WILL need this money to pay your taxes so you are not caught off guard in April next year!

  • Don’t cheat on your taxes, you idiot.  Have integrity.  Don’t file for bankruptcy.  If you make a mistake and owe someone something, pay them back as much as you can afford every paycheck/month until you have paid them back in full. 
  • Keep a budget and stay within it.  Consider dividing up your paycheck into three buckets, like this:  Spend (Bills + Food + Reasonable Entertainment), Save, Give (even if it’s just a tiny little bit).  When you get a raise, don’t put it in the “Spend” bucket – SAVE IT.
A simple philosophy that will change your life. Get it used for $1, or just study the wiki page.

No matter how much money you have, it requires DISCIPLINE. 
Start your discipline right now. 

Don’t tell yourself that you’ll be more financially responsible later! 

When is later?  “When” is RIGHT NOW.  Set yourself up for financial success.

The Importance of Planning

If you don’t already have one, it is time to buy a week-at-a-glance planner, some nice pens and some highlighters. Life is crazy. If juggle 100+ things in a week, how are you ever going to be proactive and do more than just what you NEED to do? How will you fit it all in?

If you don’t know whats going on in tomorrow, let alone, next week, how are you ever going to function effectively and with a sense of peace and a smile on your face?

This may seem really old school compared to the online calendars, to-do lists and meeting notifications you get on your phone. Maybe this even could be a tad redundant in many people’s eyes. You maybe right. However, I really believe in the power of writing things down to unleash an action and the ability to look at a whole week (or month) at once.

I love lists, I love crossing things off and getting s**t done! If you try a paper planner, you’ll see the benefit of looking at the bigger picture, (vs. online calendars) and the joy and sense of satisfaction and making and accomplishing your lists.

A planner and January goals in one take

I’ve (Karen) been a teacher for 20 years, so Sunday nights have always been a planning and logistics night. By having a planner with the week laid out, I can juggle work, a husband that travels, two children, two dogs, a household, my personal well-being and a social life.

To be able to plan, you will need the following:

  • 20 minutes of time, once a week (sunday night or Monday morning is best)
  • A “Week-at-a-Glance” planner
  • Pens and highlighters
  • Sticky Notes
Amazon is a planner’s best friend. Here are some suggestions of things you might like.

Step One: Open up your planner to today’s week. (You don’t have to start at the beginning of the year, but if it’s December, you might as well wait until January.) Add all of the blocks of time you are at work, school, vacation, sports, meetings or events you have planned and anything else you do on a regular basis. Pick a color for each priority in your life. Don’t forget to add blocks of time for “family fun” and ” Me” time!

Step Two: Now think about three to five action items that you need to get done and write them each on a separate sticky note and add them to your week at the side. It can be anything from “Go to Costco”, “Renew Driver’s License” or “Find a Yoga Class” or even, “Schedule lunch with Kim”. As you complete them, check them off. This will feel so good and reaffirm what else needs doing. If they don’t get done that week, move the sticky note to next week’s plan. No pressure, its just a good way to remember things you wanted to do and get them done.

Step Three: I always like to challenge myself on a weekly basis to do something nice for others. A simple challenge to thank people or give back in a small way is important to maintain a community and it makes you feel good. Make it a mission to pay for the Starbucks in the car behind you at the drive through. Complement a friend (or stranger’s) outfit or hair cut. Donate some old towels or blankets to the Humane Society.

You can find Random Acts of Kindness calendars on Google.

Step Four: You may want to just start with a week at first. But as soon as you get the hang of it, you will look farther into your month and maybe start planning some career, family or future goals. It does become quite addictive. An example of a graphic organizer I created in January is above. It was a great way to track my weight, workouts, spending and family goals that month. The key is consistency. Make it a priority to plan your week!

Final Thoughts:

  • Remember this should only take 20 -30 minutes of time a week. Do not labor over this or you will not maintain it.
  • Try and keep track of the color highlight you use. Add a legend or key until you learn which highlighter color is for what.
  • IMPORTANT: Learn to say no! When you see the scope of your week and it’s full – or needs to save room for YOU time, try using one of the following to say no!
    ~ “While my heart wants to say yes yes yes, the reality of my time makes this a no.
  • ~ “I am honored by your request but I’m in a season of refocusing my priorities and have committed not to add anything new right now.” ~ ” Thank you for thinking of me . Your project sounds wonderful. However, as much as I would love to be involved, I can’t give your project my full attention it deserves.”
    ~ Also, remember that “No.” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to make it flowery. A simple, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” is a good answer as well.
  • Don’t forget to schedule in some “Me” time, time to see your “folks”, exercise, go for a relaxing walk; anything that can help you de-stress, connect and find joy!
  • One tip from Kim is to do the things that you DON’T really want to do – the things that you want to put off – FIRST. (e.g. Ugh. I don’t want o make that phone call or submit my expense reports! DO IT! Just get them out the way.+) Aren’t you sick of seeing them on your to-do list? Cross them off! Talk about a sense of satisfaction!

I wish you all the best in your planning endeavors. Please comment below with any tips or tricks you use to manage this crazy life!

Lots of Love,

Karen xxxx

The Importance of Planning.

The Mystery of “Networking” Revealed

For some of you (not including the extreme extroverts who just LOVE meeting new people), the word “networking” makes you cringe.   The purpose of this blog is to not only remove the cringy-ness of networking but also to explain what it REALLY is and to convince you of how important it is and, most importantly, how easy and natural networking actually is to do.

Here are three questions we will address:

What is “networking”, really?

Why do I need a network?

How do I start networking and build my network?

Here we go.

What is “networking”? 

(And, of course we will talk about what it is NOT, for clarity.)

Networking is something that you do… and a network is something you build… over your whole adult life.  It is a living, breathing, expanding process of building a community of people that support each other.

Networking can be as simple as talking to your friends, teachers, colleagues, classmates, neighbors, group members (doctor, vet, pharmacist, etc.)… Your “network” is everyone you know:   ALSO, your friends’ friends and your family’s friends, your peers’ and colleagues’ network of people. 

And if you find people interesting and you are a curious person (note that I did not say extroverted), you’ll find that networking can be easy and enjoyable. At the very least, it should not be difficult or painful, but you DO have to put yourself in a position to build your network.

  • Networking is NOT asking people for a job
  • It is NOT passing around your resume. 
  • It is NOT one-sided or selfish.
  • Networking doesn’t have to be formal or organized. 
  • It is NOT a one-time “event” that you suffer through. 

Ideally the people in this network are people that you’ve actually interacted with at some point, and you like and respect each other.  A network of people works towards the symbiotic (great word, look it up) support of the people around them. That whole community thing.  “Networking” creates MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL (there, I gave away the definition of ‘symbiotic’) RELATIONSHIPS.

Networking is about building mutually-beneficial relationships.

There are also many, more “formal” networking groups, industry professional or student clubs and organizations that exist for the purpose of educating and connecting people in an industry or business (or social) community. These can be fun and helpful. These groups are typically organized, run by a leadership committee, meet regularly and forge long-term relationships among people who are truly interested in their industry, staying up with trends, and inspire, connect and motivate each other towards success, both personally and professionally.

WHY do I need a network?

You are FAR more likely to find a job – throughout your career—by networking than by applying for posted jobs online. 

You should not underestimate this statement. 

Statistically, “70 percent of people ended up in their current position thanks to networking. Others say it’s more like 80 percent or even 85 percent.”


The nature of the job market, according to Right Management, is that about 70% of positions are not posted online, but rather are pending, hidden/unpublished, created/opened for the right person.  Only 30% of jobs are actually posted online.

Personally, I’ve held about eight jobs in my career (and interviewed for another 25) and most I heard about through “the grapevine” (my network) or someone specifically referred me (or a recruiter called me).  I rarely, if ever, interviewed for any job that I applied for online.

More importantly, since leaving my job and starting my freelancing business earlier this year, I’ve received ALL of my work through friends’ and former colleagues’ referrals of me to others. My wonderful network is coming through for me in ways I never imagined.

So, the point is, you are WAY better off investing your time in PEOPLE: meeting, listening and talking to them (and building your LinkedIn network) than you are scrolling through online job sites.

“But, Kim and Karen!’ you say. “I’m in high school.  Why do I need a network?” Well, who will recommend you for a summer job or college internship?  Who will say to a potential employer, “Oh, hey, my neighbor/son’s friend/babysitter/kid’s baseball coach is looking for a job like that!” Or, “Hey, if you’re looking for work, I know someone…” Who will write a letter of recommendation for trade school, college or graduate school? 

It’s never too early to start building your network. Okay, so…

How do you build a network?

Newsflash:  The good news is that you probably already have one even if you don’t know it.  It consists of everyone you know.  Your phone contacts, your email contacts, your classmates, your teachers/professors, your employers… What you NEED to do is try to capture that network somewhere (again, I suggest LinkedIn). Connect with all these people.

If you’re still in high school, your network is your friends, your friends’ parents, your teachers, coaches, church community, sports community, people you might have worked with or served on clubs and committees with. Of course, your bosses, which might be your neighbors, or people you babysat for or did yard work for.

Think of it as creating a small, simple relationship with everyone you meet. 

It goes like this:

“Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. So, tell me about yourself?  How interesting. Could you tell me more about that?  How did you get into that?  Did you study that in school? Tell me about your career path.  I’m interested in _____.   Do you know anyone who does that? Really? Where does she work? Would you mind introducing me? I would really like to talk to them about how they got into that.”

Okay, so I’m over-simplifying.  But here are your objectives for networking: 

  • LEARNING about jobs, industries, companies. ANY of them.
  • Learning about people and experiences and opinions.  BEING INTERESTED.
  • Asking questions. Asking for advice.  Asking for introductions.  Asking for informational interviews. 
  • Helping others do the same. 

Here are some critical networking statements: 

  • “How did you get your job in ____?  Could you tell me a little about your career path?”
  • “What do you like most about your job? What is most challenging?”
  •  “Do you have any advice for me about building a career in ____?” 
  • “Would you have some time to talk to me further about your career/job? Would it be appropriate for me to job shadow you or someone at your company? Would it be possible for me to come in for an informational interview?”
  • “Do you mind if I connect with you on LinkedIn?”
  • MOST IMPORTANT:  “THANK YOU so much for your time.  I really appreciate you talking to me about this!”
  • SECOND MOST IMPORTANT:  “Is there anyone else that you would suggest I talk to?” “May I use your name? Would you mind introducing me to that person?”

Remember that networking is a two-way street.  You can always offer to help someone else if the situation arises. (examples:  Write businesses positive reviews on Yelp! and Google. Endorse people and write them recommendations on LinkedIn.  Refer employees.  Send an interesting article. Offer THEIR kid an informational interview or to job shadow YOU once you have a job.)

There you have it.  Networking is a life-long process and it is very valuable to invest in.

Think of networking like professional (and sometimes personal) karma.
If it’s sincere, you get back what you put out into the universe.

Karma or not, rather than intimidating and painful, networking should be informative and enjoyable. And trust us when we say it will pay off for you over the long run… and the very long run.

The Mystery of Networking.

LinkedIn: More Important than your Resume

No lie.

LinkedIn is national and international. As of March 2019, LinkedIn had 610 million registered members in 200 countries, of which more than 250 million are active.

If you do not have a robust, high quality profile on, you are SERIOUSLY hurting your job prospects. Have you heard this one:

The average employer spends 6 seconds looking at a resume.

– Often-cited study conducted by The Ladders in 2012. Though it has been disputed, specifically by So then The Ladders wrote a good follow up with some real doozies. All good reads. See sources below.

So, certainly there is a lot more to the story, but the good news is, your LinkedIn profile and activity offers GREAT opportunity to stand out, capture attention and engage!  

If you are only using LinkedIn as a digital version of your resume, you are missing OUT!

Now, of course, LinkedIn should reflect your resume (see our two resume-writing blogs: one about Resume Design and one about Resume Content) but there is SO Much more to do with LinkedIn. Here are a few things that you should leverage. (You might consider carrying a few of these advantages over to your resume.)

1. Your LinkedIn Profile Picture

You can and should use a professional head shot on your LinkedIn profile.  Personally, if I look at someone’s LinkedIn profile and they have no photo, I think they don’t take LinkedIn seriously (which leads me to wonder if they take their job search seriously. Probably not.)

By “head shot”, I mean, a nice, “professional”-looking one, from the shoulders (or waist) up, with a light background and no one else in the picture – even if you sort-of-kind-of crop them out. It should look like a professional photo even if it is not. (It doesn’t NEED to be! Just go for natural outdoor lighting and a plain background.)

I’m sorry I have to even say this, but in the photo, you should be dressed professionally. A modeling, sporting, or formal event photo is typically not appropriate. I recently saw a profile picture of young woman with her midriff showing AND nipples visible through her shirt. And she wasn’t seeking a job in adult entertainment (or was she?) If you are unclear on what we mean by “professional”, and even if you THINK you are clear, allow me to refer you to our To Wear or Not To Wear blog.

Lastly, on LinkedIn photos, there is now also an option for a large background picture, or “Cover Photo”, much like Facebook. This is another great opportunity to stand out.  Keep it simple, maybe a pattern or image relevant to your career, like a drawing table, table of the elements, notebook and pen, etc.  Or a photo of a landscape, your college campus or cityscape… Don’t make it to complex; nothing that will distract from the rest of the content.

2. A HEADLINE: Give yourself a title.

This is one of my favorite “new” things about LinkedIn: You can give yourself a title under your name.  It doesn’t have to be your exact serious title of the exact position you have/want.  You could write “Project Manager” for your headline. But you can also be a little more creative or descriptive, like “Project Manager and Master of Efficiency”. I just saw one that started with, “Highly-Caffeinated…” Now, don’t get TOO cute, but, you know, you could show a little personality.

You can also combine phrases!  Like, “Project Manager | Team Relationship Manager | Time-Keeper”

(I know you want to know how to make those little slashes:  It’s SHIFT+ BACKSLASH ( \ ), and you should bold them to make them stand out.  BRILLIANT! )

3. INTRO: A Summary of Brand YOU!

Okay, now this is REALLY my favorite new thing on LinkedIn.  Remember in the Resume blog we were talking about how an “Objective” is possibly limiting.  Well, this is what you want instead.  A PROFILE SUMMARY of you, and your core competencies.  (I would add that THIS is what you should have at the top of your resume under your name and contact info.)

This is a good time to think about your Personal Brand. (We will write a blog on how to do this soon! In the meantime, google it. There are many articles on Personal Brand Statements. But ours will be more fun, haha.) 

You can write in the first person, ie. Use the pronoun “I” to talk about yourself.  As in, I am an energetic business student with a passion for x, y and z…”   You could also get creative and address a problem, such as, “If you are looking for/If your company is experiencing x, y and z, I am the candidate for you…” Go look at some of your connections and find some that you like. Follow a similar style, we won’t tell.

4. Recommendations!

Endorsements are okay, but recommendations are GREAT! Ask your close contacts to write them for you. Consider asking teachers/professors, bosses/supervisors, colleagues, clients, anyone who can legitimately say something glowing about your performance and skills; specific examples even better.  Also, don’t forget to return the favor! (Note that these are people who might also be a reference for you when you are interviewing.)

5. Other Ways to Optimize your LinkedIn profile

  • Customize your LinkedIn Profile URL to, not a bunch of numbers. (You can check/change this in settings. Also, put this link on your resume.)
  • Include your contact information! Seriously! I suggest at the end of your summary, say something like, Please reach out to me at [email].
  • Add videos, blogs, link to your personal website, samples of your work – good stuff that can make you stand out.
  • Build your network but be careful of being annoying. I like to be a bit selective (e.g. people related somehow to my industry, or just people that I know personally.)
  • Post/Share articles, comment on others’ posts, write articles, be active.

Get to it! Have fun. You should be proud of your LinkedIn profile!

Ladders study:
Good objections raised about this study methodology:
Snap decisions made about your resume here: (like, if you use hotmail or AOL or some other outdated provider, you could be rejected outright.

Please find below some resources for Educators

First (or Second) Job Blues

Seven Ways to Beat Them

This blog is about your first (or second, or third…) “real” job.  And the fact that you may hate it. Maybe you’re not doing what you thought you would be doing.  Maybe you don’t like the hours, procedures, your boss, your colleagues, your commute, your working conditions or frankly, the work.

Here’s how we suggest you handle this situation.

(Before we dive in, allow us to state the obvious: if you are really in any kind of a dangerous or threatening situation, get to a safe place immediately and talk to a trusted adult about it, inside or outside the company. But that is going to be a rare situation.  We are talking more typical scenarios, like general, “I hate my job” feelings.)

1. Work Your Hardest

I’m sincerely sorry you don’t like your job. Have faith that it will get better there or somewhere else. And if you work at it, you will eventually find a job you love. (Karen and I are big believers in ‘everything happens for a reason’, and according to that philosophy, there’s a reason you are in this job – to learn something new, learn something about yourself, or to meet certain people.)

That said, you’ve heard the saying, “work is called ‘work’ and not ‘play’ for a reason, blah blah blah. And “You have to pay your dues” blah blah blah, but it truly is a thing! Everyone at a higher level than you at one point had to do work they didn’t like or was super boring. And if you are irritated about it, people around you will know it, trust me, and it will be duly noted.  People HAVE been fired for a bad attitude. I’ve seen it happen more than once.

As a wise young man once said, “Embrace the suck.”  He and I were working on a painful project, but we leaned into it and worked hard and learned a lot and made the best of it and ended up having fun despite the ambiguity and tedium.  (Note that working with someone else always makes a tough job more fun as long as you both have a good attitude. Find someone you enjoy working with.)


– Erik

2. Learn as Much as You Can.

I read somewhere that you know it’s time to switch jobs when you stop learning. Which means you should do this first. So, show up every day with a pen and paper. Set your frustrations aside for 8 hours a day and learn as much as you can so that you are not wishing away your time and after you leave, wish you had leveraged more of the opportunity there. No matter where you are, there is something to learn. Talk to as many people as you can. Find someone who is doing something interesting and interview them. Ask them about their jobs and their career paths.

3. Build Relationships

The people you work with now can help you in the future, if you form real relationships with them. So, consider this job a full-time networking opportunity. (More on Networking in an upcoming blog post.) Ask their opinions on anything and everything. Show that you are interested, be a good listener, show you care about their experience and are passionate about the industry.  Reciprocate:  Ask if you can shadow them or help them.  Thank them for their time, advice, insight, even if they are your peer. When you give back and express appreciation, it is noted.

4. Do Not Become a “Recruiter”.

Do not be that guy who bitches about everything at work. You may be justified, you may be right!  But it’s only going to hurt you. I’m not saying not to bitch. It’s good to blow off steam.  Find a trusted friend who you can vent to. For me, it was my office mate. We were in the same boat and I trusted her not to tell anyone anything I said. Of course, ideally the person you bitch to is not someone in the office, but they can relate and they are less likely to try to “fix” it than a friend or family member.

5. Resist the Temptation to Burn Bridges.

I cannot stress this enough.  RESIST the urge to slack off, be a jerk, say something you shouldn’t, quit dramatically and storm out the door without giving 2 weeks notice. Seriously. Just don’t. Take a deep breath. Be professional. Don’t set yourself up for serious regrets now or in the future.

Story:  I have had (on more than one occasion, I swear I am not making this up) utterly despised colleagues become clients.  This one guy was such an arrogant turd. He was just full of hot air; he never contributed in any substantive way. He just swaggered around and listened to himself talk. I never saw him do a lick of work, but he would order everyone else around and condescend. It was all I could do not to tell him where to stick it.

Fast forward 10 years and here he is, my direct client as the director of marketing at some random company. HA! Boy, was I glad I hadn’t told him what I REALLY thought of him! Turned out that having him as a client was actually pleasant — Because it is not necessarily out of the ordinary to have a client act arrogant and not do any of the heavy lifting , whereas a colleague who behaves this way is maddening. (Also, I think he had been knocked down a few pegs in the interim. Karma. Karma always gets them.)

6. Take Control: Make a Plan Forward.

Instead of being discouraged, start thinking about and making notes on your next step.  What do you like about this job? What don’t you like? What more do you need to learn? Is there a place to move within your company? Do you need to go elsewhere? What kind of companies are out there? Again, network. Read. Learn. Take a free online class. (No, don’t presume you need to go back to school/to grad school  – more on this in another post.)

Consider finding a mentor or coach to help you determine if this is really the right job path for you – it may be that you just need a plan.  Is this dissatisfaction with your job just circumstantial? Or is this really not a good career fit for you?

Story: A good friend from high school earn her degree in Pre-Law… and then Law… and then when she started practicing law at a firm in Chicago, she HATED it.  Ruh roh. To bad she didnt discover this before going into serious debt. But it happens — And you will find something that works better for you. (She did.)

7. If Things Get Ugly, Document.

Again, if things are bad and you’re trying to do all the right things (like points 1-6), and you really are being mistreated, disrespected or harassed: Document, document, document. The only way to complain in a credible way is to write down exactly when and how someone is mistreating you. Specifically, write down who exactly said or did what to you in what circumstances on what date. Note if there were any witnesses. (And, again, if you’re being truly abused, get help right away.) And of course, start looking for a different job. 

Be sure that when you do resign, ask for an exit interview (if you aren’t offered one as a matter of course) and be honest (but polite and professional) with what your experience was. Be thoughtful and constructive and specific. If something is seriously going wrong at your company, they can’t fix it if they don’t know. Sometimes they can’t fix it without enough evidence.

As someone with an “over-developed sense of justice”, I believe that it is your responsibility to communicate this information to the administration for the good of those who come after you. Don’t assume that someone else will report it and/or deal with it. You would be shocked to know how many people actually don’t ever provide feedback on anything.

One Last Word.

There are certain skills needed to productively move forward through long agonizing hours, days, weeks doing something you would rather not be doing. Unfortunately, many of these skills come with time, age and learning the hard way.

So, in the meantime (or instead of learning the hard way), I recommend reading/listening to  “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (I also suggest, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey.) You won’t regret it. It’s $10 on Amazon. Even though it was first published in 1936 (Yes, it’s older than your grandma and more relevant than ever), it’s easy and fun to read and if you follow the advice in this book, it will impact your whole life in a positive way — and even help you make the most of a bad job situation.


First or Second Job Blues