Surviving COVID 19 in 2020

Today is day 10 of my experiences with COVID 19. It’s time for me to reflect on the last 10 days and help you and your family get through an out break in your household. This is my account and I am not a doctor. However, I did receive much love and support from many highly qualified, educated people.

The symptoms I experienced Day 1 – 3 .

Scratchy throat – body aches – headache – no temperature / fever – loss of appetite and no smell or taste. Soft BM’s – I’m sorry probably too much information.

Took rapid test but came back negative – waited on swab test – it came back positive on Day 3. Family got tested on Day 3 – tests came back negative on day 7.

Symptoms Day 4- 6

Scratchy throat – cough – body aches – headache – terrible night sweats – no temperature or fever

Symptoms Day 7-8

Extreme fatigue – shortness of breath – night sweats – shallow cough – chest pains – this is the day I questioned whether I needed to call the doctors or go straight to the ER. It was very scary for me. I have never experienced a panic attack before and I do not want to experience the feeling of not being able to control my breathing again.

Symptoms – Day 10

Night sweats have gone – thank goodness – tiredness – turned a corner – feel better – 6 pound weight loss.

So what’s the deal?

Expect to be isolated to a room with access to a bathroom that can not be shared with others. If you do not have a sperate restroom be prepared to clean the rest room after every use. You will be spending 10 days in this room so therefore make sure you have access to the following:

Somewhere to sit outside of your bed. It is very important to get up and move around and not just be laid out on your back. Making sure that your lungs do not fill up with fluid and give you early on set of Pneumonia. Lie on your stomach too. This doctor in this video really helped me learn to breath through the chest tightness.

This breathing technique really helped me on day 7 – 10.

If you can mask up and get outside that will also help your mood and breathing. I didn’t do this early enough. Should have done this every day.

Thermometer – you will be taking your temperature every 2 – 3 hours. If it goes above 100 call your doctor.

An oximeter – vital to check your blood oxygen. If it goes below 93 you need to consult a doctor.

Its a good idea to take a teaspoon of Manuka honey in hot water and lemon a couple of times a day – this helps with opening up your air ways and tightness in the chest.

Something to cheer you up. 🙂 Not that you have much of an appetite but some nice treats lying around does help.

Talk to your doctor about what pain medication you can take. I took Tylenol PM at night and regular Tylenol in the day. Vitamin C, D and a probiotic is a must.

Gatorade, water, Pedialyte pops – you will be sweating a lot – especially at night so you will need to replenish that water. So please make sure you have a lot of options available. I also enjoyed Kombucha even though I couldn’t taste it much. The cold bubbles really helped.

My friends and family have been incredible. From helping my daughter celebrate her 13th birthday in Quarantine to the daily delivery of baked goods, fruit salads, smoothies, home made soups and Starbucks. Please allow your friends to support you. You will need all the help you can get.

While in isolation your family can only come into your room to deliver food and water. They must wear a mask and gloves and must wipe down with Clorox wipes everything that comes into the room and comes out of the room. They can not remain in the room for more than a few minutes. Try and keep air circulating in the room with a fan and keep windows open if the temperature will allow. The worst is not being able to hug or even hold your loved ones hands. This situation is very lonely so make sure you connect with people via facetime during meals and downtime in the house. Watching my daughter open her gifts on her 13th birthday and eating with them via zoom at dinner had to be done just to help keep my spirits up.

Other things to consider……

It is a good idea to log everything on a regular basis so that if you do need to see a doctor or Hospital you have some base line data to share with them.

You will get a call from a Contact Tracer asking where you have been 14 days prior to you getting ill. Be prepared with a timeline. My list was not that extensive. Highlights were HITT Quarters gym, Panera Bread, the dentist, Kroger, charlottes house, Dessert Oasis, Covert Campground (self contained though) and the Barge in Saugatuck. That was it. I think I got a A- rating. 🙂

Your family also need to monitor their symptoms and temperature to make sure that they have not been exposed. The Oakland County nurse will expect you to report any changes to their condition

Keep all pets away from you.

Bottom line:

In the past when you were ill you just got on with it. It hardly impacted anyone and you were able to be back to normal.

This virus is relentless. A shame is poured over you and your family because everyone assumes that you must have been out partying or not wearing your mask in public. It immediately impacts the people that you have been around 14 days prior to you getting sick. Your friends and loved ones are then told to monitor their own symptoms, quarantine at home for 14 days and get tested. Your work place becomes involved and then a litany of questionnaires are filled in and follow up phone calls from the Oakland county health division, are made. If like me you are a teacher, lesson plans need to be prepared and emails with new attendance procedures created. Your phone will blow up with people empathizing and sympathizing with you and wanting to help out. Your porch will look like Christmas has come early and your house will look like a bomb has hit it because of the piles of washing and meal planning that is needed to take care of a family in quarantine. And remember do not pet the dog! We are not sure if COVID can transmit to them. So with that said. You will get through it and according to the CDC you will have immunity for 90 days. Yippee! So please take it easy, sleep lots, keep hydrated and ask for help if you need it.

I do hope this has been helpful. Please share.

8 Tools for Working from Home (with ADHD)

Some of you might find yourself working from home these days. I was asked for advice by a colleague who also has adult ADHD, so I wrote this blog post.  Whether you have ADHD (or a family member does) or not, it might come in handy.

Last year, I had the opportunity to start a new full-time salaried job… or work for myself, from home. I took the leap and I love it; I could never go back. However…

Working from home is an entirely different experience – mostly good… with some challenges.

Now that I work from home, I’ve had two huge epiphanies:

  • How much time working in an office is WASTED.  Commute is the obvious one.  Also, short interruptions, “emergency” interruptions, administrative bullshit, useless meetings, chatting in the hallways. I mean, literally 50% of the day. Of course, the social part is good time wasting.
  • How much an imposed schedule keeps someone on track – especially someone with ADHD.  When you have to be at the office a certain time; attend meetings at a certain time; people popping in to say, “Is that done yet?”; lunch at a certain time; needing to get something done before you walk out the door at the end of the day…. 

First, working from home lets me “waste” my time in a way that is enjoyable for me, whether it’s doing a puzzle, organizing something or playing a game on my phone. It doesn’t feel wasted because whatever I choose to do is my choice.  Doing chores makes me less stressed about all the stuff there is to do that you would typically have to cram into an evening or weekend.

On the other hand, with minimal imposed schedule, I’m a hot mess. The subject of which is the purpose of this post.

For my husband, an introvert and an engineer, who also works from home, it’s all upside. (His long commute crushed his soul and he arrived home exhausted each night after more interaction than ideal.)  Working at home, he is methodical in his schedule, getting up at a regular hour, eating breakfast, heading to his office and focusing intently until a set lunchtime, repeat…etc….   He’s a discipline machine!

For an extrovert with ADHD, working from home is so much “MESSIER”!

It has taken me a long time to figure out how to be both happy, relaxed AND productive and I’m still figuring it out. 

Here are some suggestions that work for me, keeping in mind that I’m no expert on Adult ADHD, working from home nor productivity, as anyone who knows me will tell you.  But here are some thought starters.

  1. Sound.  Silence is deafening. Find music that works for you. (I find lyrics distracting). This also keeps your brain from listening to what else is going on in the house that will distract you (e.g. my teens around these days, as school is shut down for coronavirus.)

  2. Lists. This might be a no-brainer but OVERUSE them – you need them now more than ever. Keep them simple and IN YOUR FACE. Separate them by work, personal tasks, personal rewards/treats.  STAR the “MUST DO’s” for today. Put critical items on your calendar to make sure it gets done, and you’ve allocated a specific time for it.

  3. Timers. Consider using a timer. A LOT. This is a HUGE one for me.  When I’m struggling to sit down and crank something out, I set a time for 15 minutes and “force” myself to do it.  Ideally, within 15 minutes, I’m “in the zone” and when the timer rings, I keep going and reset it for another 15.  


    If I’m NOT in the zone, I do something else (either at my desk or away from it), ideally, for 15 minutes – maybe even reward or shut my brain off by playing my stupid game addiction that I am too embarrased to name… Okay, Heart’s Medicine, Doctor’s Oath). Then come back and do another 15 minutes of whatever task I am struggling with until it’s done. Then I reward myself again.  Good Lord, I’m like a goddamn toddler!


    Incidentally, a timer is also great for reminding yourself that you have a meeting coming up.  I’m ashamed to say that I have OFTEN been late for a meeting because I got distracted by… anything other than the clock. (You know: You look at the clock and you’re like, “Oh, my meeting isn’t for 23 minutes.” Then you look again and you’re 5 minutes late! Set the timer at 23 minutes out.)

  4. Rewards:  Speaking of which, don’t underestimate the power of letting your amazing, busy, brilliant ADHD brain rest!  Expecting to be constantly productive all day is completely unrealistic and unfair.  Turn it off when you need to turn it off.  Know yourself.  (See Socializing, Exercise or “Stupid game addiction”.) I also recommend puzzles, knitting, TV or whatever does it for you.

  5. Socialize:  If you are an extrovert, this is going to be critical for you to work into your day.  It can be coffee out (or in, given COVID), a walk (with a friend, 6 feet apart), a phone call, Facetime, social media if that’s all you got. Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If a game with your kid does it for you – go for it. Importantly, set expectations on timing with whomever you are socializing with.
    “Hi, Mom! I’m really glad to chat with you, but just to warn you, I have a hard stop for a meeting in 30 minutes.” (It’s a white lie to keep you on track today. And “Hard Stop” sounds super important.)

  6. Know Your Body Clock. Pay attention to your typical productivity rhythms and take advantage of them!  It took me a long time to realize that there are times when my brain lets me really focus, and times when…not so much. I still haven’t figured it out but I am experimenting. (e.g. I know that my ADHD medication crashes around 3 p.m., so 3 pm is a great time for a 20-30 minute nap, yoga or walk. Conversely, a meeting can jolt your brain back into a good rhythm.)


    I know I can crank it out from 10-12 p.m. but that interferes with my sleep and sometimes 10 p.m. is the only time I have a real actual focused conversation with my husband, though he knows and respects this is truly peak productivity time for me, so usually he just goes to bed without me.


    Don’t schedule the socializing or errands or even meetings and appointments, if you can help it, during your peak productivity time. Save that time when you need individual work time! Alternately, work around important other obligations, like preparing dinner (when school is in, transporting kids) knowing that you will need to stop then. Use it to your advantage, e.g. “It’s 4 p.m.  I’m going to get THIS done by 5 p.m. so I can start making dinner.”

  7. Exercise. This is good on so many levels, but especially important for ADHDers. Make time for it ever day, however it works for you. (Basement workout equipment? Video exercise? DANCE PARTY! Ping Pong/Table tennis is surprisingly exhausting!) A double bonus is exercise AND a change of scenery. Explore nearby walking trails. There are so many and getting out of the neighborhood is psychologically uplifting.

  8. Patience.  Be patient with yourself. Don’t create a schedule for yourself and then berate yourself for not keeping it! Like I said, it’s been over a year and I’m still trying to figure myself out. Look at yourself as a unique project. You are AWESOME and your brain is a complex machine that needs practice, or trial and error, to use optimally! 

Other ideas?  Let me know what works for you and as I think of more things myself, I will add them here.

Working from home is a gift.   

ADHD is a gift.

Choosing a Career – For Job Satisfaction

Preamble: I started writing this blog a long time ago – last summer after finishing my Certification in Career Services. The most valuable thing learned was this simple, free and effective way to help people choose a career. I followed the process myself and also “tested” it a lot on others. If they already knew what they wanted to do, this process aligned incredibly well. It validated their career choice. In other words: IT WORKS.

I was finally inspired to hurry up and post this while teaching a college marketing course. I asked my students, after learning that they all graduate this year, if they knew what they were going to do with their business degrees. No one raised their hands. Oh, no! No more procrastinating! Here it is! DIVE IN and give yourself the gift of a motivating goal and purpose!

First, choosing a career is a process that involves a lot of self-awareness and reflection.  You’re not going to decide in one sitting.  But you may be pressured to choose before you feel really ready, for example, so you don’t waste time and money taking college classes that you won’t end up applying to degree or certification. 

Karen and I started NoFilter because we saw too many students “forced” to choose their careers at a pretty young age without a lot of information.  We’ve also repeatedly heard students say that they took assessments that were NOT helpful: “My assessment said I should be an artist.”  Could that be any more vague?

The goal of this blog is to give you some tools to get a better idea of SPECIFIC options and then give you some tips on how to explore them to find, hopefully, a really good FIT for you. Best of all, this method (specifically the assessment), besides being free and easy, is actually proven to lead to job SATISFACTION.

Here are the steps:

STEP ONE:  Go to www.MyNextMove.org.  

You can explore this site any way that you like, but I recommend you start out by clicking on the blue square button to search by “Interest” in the upper right (it’s a little face). You can go directly there through this link:  www.MyNextMove.org/explore/ip.  This website is part of O*Net Online, a site run by the US Department of Labor and Statistics using huge amounts of data to help people select a career!  It’s amazing. (Yes, i just said “Government and amazing” in the same breath.)

It will take you to the Interest Profiler, which is based on a theory created by John Holland, called The Holland Assessment, Holland Personality Test, Holland Code, RAISEC, etc.  Basically, it identified six personality types related to career and vocational choice. They are Realistic, Artistic, Investigative, Social, Enterprising, Conventional (RAISEC). 

Take this assessment (10 minutes, max) and then write down or print out your score for your career portfolio. You will have a number by each of the six types.
YOUR HIGHEST THREE SCORES, IN ORDER, ARE YOUR “CODE.”
Example, my code is SAE: I scored highest in Social (shock), Artistic, then Enterprising. 

STEP TWO:  With your code in hand, go to www.ONetOnline.org.

You are going to use your code to find SPECIFIC careers or jobs to match From the home screen, go to “advanced search” and search by “interests”. 

Then it will show you the screen with the six words.  Click on the one that you scored highest on. I would click on Social, because my highest number was 26 in Social.  If you want, you can go straight to this page:  https://www.onetonline.org/find/descriptor/browse/Interests/  That will take you to the page that shows your highest letter in the first position and then you can enter the next two letters in the boxes that say “None selected.”

ISNT THIS EXCITING! Look! It says I should be an Annoucer! LOL! YES! Or a Teacher, Teacher, Teacher. WHAT A COINCIDENCE, I’M A TEACHER!

STEP THREE:  The next thing you will need to do is select your job zone. 

That means HOW MUCH preparation you would be willing to do/plan to do/have done to get a job. If you just want an entry level job, straight out of high school, choose Zone 1.  If you’re willing to go get your PhD, choose Zone 5.  If you get an Associate’s degree or a Vocational Certification, maybe Zone 2 or 3.  A Bachelor’s Degree, 3 or 4.  You can play with it. You’ll see what I mean when you see the results.

STEP FOUR:  Play around!

If the list you see at first doesnt excite you, try different things. Enter different job zones. If there aren’t enough choices for you or you don’t like these choices, try entering just TWO LETTERS OF YOUR CODE!  Play around with one Job Zone or all 5. 

Review the different job titles and click on the ones that intrigue you. Read about them.  Note whether this is a job labeled as “Bright Outlook” which means there will be lots of these jobs open… or not!  Look at the salary range.  Can you get all your needs (and wants) met with that salary range?

Be sure to explore a few or more of the job titles that appeal to you.  This website has lots of interesting information, but you will want to do your own research too on other websites.  Have fun finding the options that you’ll want to look into further.

In a Part Two: Choosing Your Career – Diving Deeper, we’ll talk about additional considerations and tools to help you further.

GET TO IT!

P.S. If you have any feedback on how this process worked for you, or how to make it better, let us know in the comments below.

How can my business help public school students?

I am so lucky to work in a community where the partnerships between businesses and schools are tangible.  You can see it all around with corporate sponsorship at foundation events, business food donations to Teacher Professional Development days and students job shadowing and interning throughout the school year and summer, to name a few.

So how can your company, big or small bridge the gap from school to work?

Well there is a need for sure. Business and nonprofit partnerships in public schools enable students to explore authentic career opportunities and expand their horizons. 

To build this relationship you can be part of the following three things.

  1. Go into the classroom and share your story and mentor.

It is so important to invite business leaders into the classroom to help create curriculum that students can complete while be mentored by experts in the field.  Long gone are the days where a speaker would just come in and lecture about their sphere of expertise.  Now we create opportunities for students to apply what they learn and get instant feedback from a business leader.

  • Regular Business Advisory Meetings.  Our partnerships are fluid because we continue to upgrade and change our curriculum to keep pace with what industry needs.  This regular conversation helps us develop students that have the necessary employability skills, soft skills and technical skills that our community needs to fill high wage, high yield jobs. At these meetings wants and wishes can be granted by telling the business community what labor, money and resources, a school needs, to develop our students. 
  •  Offering job shadows, internships and co-op’s.  The final point in this trifecta is getting our students out into the “real” world of business and nonprofit.  Our children have a very narrow mind about the world of work and therefore it needs to be every districts charge to get every child out on an authentic career experience before they graduate.  Through the chamber of commerce, local government and the downtown development authority this task can be a reality. 

By embedding these partnerships a reciprocal relationship occurs, stimulating our economy and making schools stronger. Get in touch with your local school district today!

Building Your Personal Brand

What does THAT mean? 

Everyone is familiar with brand names like Coke, Amazon, Apple, Starbucks… You can probably name 100. And when you think of a brand name, certain images or impressions come to mind, right? For example, when I think of a brand like Old Navy… I think inexpensive or sales; low (but passable) quality; play clothes (jeans, shorts, t-shirts, sundresses, flip flops) kids clothes; easy to shop; playful or fun. 

When it comes to shoe retailer brands, you probably have very different impressions of DSW vs. Zappos.com vs. Famous Footwear vs. Payless. MOST those brands impressions (the positive ones) are very deliberately created and reinforced by their marketing department in all of their communications and ideally, also in the way they run their company.

Companies are thoughtful and deliberate in building their brands and you should be too!

So, let’s say you are going to market your own brand, Brand [insert your name here]. In your personal and professional life, what words do people associate with you?  What words do you WANT them to associate with you? 

Building your personal brand means that YOU make an effort to influence what people associate you with, because whether you want them to or not, THEY WILL ASSOCIATE YOU WITH SOMETHING. So you should take control of it.

Personally, colleagues might think of me as fun, loud, outgoing, caring and smart.  If you knew me, you’d figure most of that out in a few minutes. But professionally, I also want them to think of me as a marketing strategy expert, a skilled workshop facilitator, a dedicated mentor/career advice provider, reliable, passionate and dedicated…etc.  Those are things that you would be quick to discern about me.

So, I have to make sure that, whether they’ve worked with me OR NOT, they believe these things about me. These are the things they associate with me when they hear my name, receive my resume or job application or even if they ask someone about me. 

Things that make up our personal brand are:

  • Skills and experience:  expertise, education, training, certifications, past jobs
  • Work habits, e.g. meticulous, prompt, efficient, creative, inspiring
  • Personal traits/emotional appeal:  Outgoing, passionate, thoughtful, decisive

Consider unique words or ways to present these things. For example, instead of saying you are “hard-working”, say you are “dedicated” or “passionate.”  When you stand back and think about your personal brand, make sure it is compelling. If not, find words that inspire you (See Karen’s list, third page of the attachment below).

Beyond just living and working your personal brand, there are two ways to communicate and build it, once you have identified it.

Channels that you have total control over, like your resume, LinkedIn page and other social media channels (especially those an employer might see).

Make sure they reflect you and that the messages you are sending out about yourself are CONSISTENT.   Anything about you can contribute to your personal brand, including your email address, how you dress and present yourself, including your mannerisms like handshake, eye contact and speaking style!   

Impressions people build of you based on direct experience.  What people think of you and what they say about you can include endorsements or recommendations on LinkedIn but they can also include things someone might say about you when asked. These things might not be so good, so make sure that you are living up to the brand impressions that you INTEND.

For example, if you are always late, or cancel on people all the time; If you are are lazy, or gossipy, complaining/bad attitude or careless in your work, over time, from job to job, these impressions can stick with you. Of course, you will be given time to grow, learn and make mistakes, but the more you are aware of your brand perceptions, the more you will be able to work to cultivate what you want and who you really are.

If you are not sure what your personal brand is,
ask your teachers, bosses or mentors
to give you some feedback on your strengths and,
while you are at it, opportunities for growth.

The things other people say about you can also help you better understand what you are good at and what you should work on. 

Consider asking friends, family and colleagues five words that come to mind when they think about you or your work.  Story: I was surprised recently when I talked to several colleagues about my performance.  Three of them said something I hadn’t considered: I’m very good at taking in a lot of information, perspectives and opinions… and summarizing and articulating the broader themes and conclusions.  I didn’t even realize I was doing that.   What a great thing to communicate to potential/future clients/employers.

Attached below are a few worksheets that Karen has generously provided for you if you want to try them out for yourself. 

It is also worth noting that employers are increasingly using personality tests to find candidates that are a good fit for their culture. While there are many out there, I recommend that you invest in a book called “StrengthsFinder 2.0” by Gallup and Tom Rath. (You should be able to find it easily for $10-15.)

I love this assessment. It won’t help you choose a career (more on the Holland Code in our upcoming “How to Choose a Career” blog) but it will help you understand yourself and identify strengths that will help you articulate your brand.

Okay, get to it:  BUILD BRAND YOU!

Four Things to Know Before you Graduate*

[*High School. If you don’t know these things by the time you graduate college, whooo boy. You better get it together – FAST.]

In December 2018, I was reflecting on how I might better serve my students at Rochester High School by teaching them employ-ability and soft skills.  I coined this, “What you should know before you graduate!”  I promptly went on Facebook and asked for industry feedback.  Four key points came up repeatedly. Here they are.

1. Spreadsheet Management

It was interesting to find the sheer emphasis on spreadsheet management. Excel is KING of the software, in many industries and a prerequisite in college.  Specifically, you should know:

  • How to design a spreadsheet with, borders, shading and page breaks and print options to one page.
  • Basic functions – (sum, average, max, min)
  • Pivot tables
  • Conditional formatting
  • How to create a graph
  • Mail merge data from Excel into Word.

If this sounds like a foreign language, I strongly encourage you to follow some YouTube videos, or even better, get a computer skills class under your belt before you graduate.

2. Communication skills

When you talk to people, you need to look them in the eye and be prepared and confident in your delivery. This includes talking on the phone.  You need to plan and be prepared for the meeting, telephone conversation or even a water cooler interaction.  Being distracted by your phone or using it as a crutch will not get you a salary increase or promotion. 

The people you work with want to know that you are engaged, eager to learn and a participating member of the team.   I heavily encourage taking a note book and pen with you when you meet with people, so you look poised, interested and ready to learn or follow a directive. (See our blog on the Importance of Writing it Down.) Also it’s an excellent way to reference the interaction and make sure you are doing what has been asked of you, before you forget the details. If you realize later that you need more information, you can go back and say, “I wrote down [x,y,z], could you clarify….”

3. The mundane and small things.

Ok, guys, let’s get real.  Some of you (you know who you are) have the attention span of a goldfish and speed of a sloth.  I ask sometimes for my students to hole punch, cut paper with a paper cutter, collate papers, type data into a spreadsheet and nine times out of ten, you mess up.  (And it’s not just MY experience – again, this is what I repeatedly heard from your more experienced colleagues.) Instead of learning, being open minded and taking some direction, you throw your hands up in the air like a spoiled toddler and declare give up! 

For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE take pride in your work and be persistent enough to learn a basic skills so the outcome is clear, concise and quality work!  I use this analogy about many tasks kids mess up:

Mastering basic tasks is like kissing:  The first time it’s messy and awkward but with time and practice, it turns out to be quite good.” 

– Karen Malsbury

Now if that doesn’t make you smile, lighten up!  

4. Email and business letter etiquette. 

Business letter writing has been around for decades.  So why do I continually see mistakes and lack of attention to detail? Writing a business letter is simple. See attachment, here:

It should be one page, formal, typed, left-justified and three paragraphs max for the main body of the letter.  Please see this perfect example of a business cover letter for a job application.  Make sure you have the key details before you start, whom you are writing to, their tile and their address in block format,  Write a compelling body with perfect grammar, spelling and punctuation and then end with “Sincerely,” [your first and last name] because you are yet to be acquainted. 

As for email, please adhere to the following Etiquette. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/272780

  • Do have a clear subject line. …
  • Don’t forget your signature. …
  • Do use a professional salutation. …
  • Don’t use humor. …
  • Do proofread your message. …
  • Don’t assume the recipient knows what you are talking about. …
  • Do reply to all emails. …
  • Don’t shoot from the hip…
  • Do keep private material confidential…
  • Don’t! overuse exclamation points!!!!! (Annoying and unprofessional.)

Sidebar on emailing teachers/professors about grades: Make sure your argument is valid. Also, please don’t go in for the punch until you have made an attempt to set the scene.  As a teacher, there is nothing worse than trying to explain yourself to 140 adolescents when a) The student hasn’t even seen the assignment in question — the one that I spent time correcting and b) I have no idea what assignment you are talking about because that was before spring break and I can hardly remember what I did yesterday. Give me a break, people!

Emails need to be concise and to the point.  If you really need to write an epic novel, STOP yourself and pick up the phone.  Also remember any email or text that is sent could be used in a court of law. Love this meme. Hahaha!

So, that’s about it, people! Four little things that can get you to the next step. At the end of the day it’s all about a good attitude, listening, acting on constructive criticism, dedication, perseverance and willingness to learn something, even if it doesn’t come naturally.

Unsolicited and Unqualified Financial Advice

We are not Financial Advisers.

We are not financial advisers.

But we have a few things to tell you anyway just in case you aren’t going to hear it from anyone else before it’s too late.

We will keep it short.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of getting a REAL paycheck, especially when it’s 4-digits. 

But are you confident in managing your money besides paying your rent/mortgage, car payment, groceries, utilities…? Do you have a budget that includes saving or investing? Do you know what your actual monthly expenses are; Your monthly discretionary income after your bills are all paid? How much are you saving? Over the long term, can you afford the choices you make? What if your car breaks down or your dog gets sick – do you have emergency funds set aside?

Flying home from a conference last week, I sat next to an impressive young man named James (Hi, James!) who grew up not far from my home. After high school, James was fortunate enough to be offered a sales job making a pretty significant commission and was doing quite well for himself! 

But James didn’t really have someone to advise him in making good financial decisions. Quite the contrary, his employer even hooked him up (as well as his other handsome young employees) with a potentially shady accountant, putting James at serious risk for a rocky financial future.

Fortunately, James is smart and open-minded and listened to a few words from an opinionated mom-like stranger, as follows:

The average millionaire
becomes a millionaire
(and stays a millionaire)
because he/she lives
below his/her means.

What does that mean, to “live below your means”?

Most simply, don’t spend more than you have. In fact, don’t even spend everything you have. Save as much as you can (without being a complete cheap ass. Don’t argue over the restaurant bill unless your friend is in the habit of scamming out.)   This can be a hard thing to do. Just because you have the money and can AFFORD it, doesn’t mean to have to spend it. 

Buy a used car, not an expensive new or leased car. You don’t need a “nice” car. Why do you need a nice car? Why does ANYONE need an expensive car? Do you need to show clients that you are successful? Or are you really just showing them that you are materialistic and are making too much money off them? The only car you might need is a decent, reliable one. 

Don’t buy something on a credit card that you can’t afford to pay cash for. NEVER carry a balance on your credit card. Don’t use one if you can’t pay it off IN FULL every month.

(This is not only the smart thing to do, but you are also building your credit rating, something Americans are overly-obsessed with.)

Choose your friends wisely.
(This is no joke!) 
Don’t hang around with people that you feel pressured to keep up with, especially if they have expensive habits.
Find friends that are as careful with their money as you are,
or better yet, MORE careful.

“Your Rich Friends Could be Making You Poor”: Business Insider https://www.businessinsider.com/rich-friends-could-be-making-you-poor-2014-8

Did you know that 70% of lottery winners file for bankruptcy within 3-5 years of winning?  Because they go hog wild!  They spend like crazy and they have a hard time saying no to demanding relatives and friends that crawl out of the woodwork asking for a handout.  Because they are not careful.

Contribute to your employer’s offered 401K. 
And, if they match, accept free money:
If your employer will match your 401K, contribute AT LEAST as much as they will match (e.g. 1%). If you can’t afford any more than that right now, fine, but take the free money. If you CAN afford it, contribute the MAXIMUM allowed! You’ll be glad you did!

You might think, “I don’t make enough money to afford to contribute to my 401K or to put anything in savings”.  Ah! Not true! Here are things to consider:

  • You CAN live without a few extra dollars a month.  People do it all the time. If the money never lands in your bank account, but goes straight into your retirement account, you’ll never miss it. 
  • Really sure you can’t live without that money right now?  The second you make a tiny bit more, immediately move the amount of your raise (or at least most of it. At least HALF of it, come on!) into a 401K account. Everyone knows the story about the tiny amount that you invest at age 25 will grow by leaps and bounds more than the amount you start investing at age 35.
  • NEVER EVER BORROW MONEY FROM YOUR OWN 401K.  Just don’t do it.  You’ll pay a penalty and you’ll never get yourself back up to speed.  Either don’t spend that money or think of some other creative (legal) way to get it, e.g. selling stuff on eBay or taking a temporary evening/weekend job. Even a small loan will hurt you less than “borrowing” from your 401k.

CRITICAL:  If you make commissions or some type of wage where taxes are not withheld, set 35% aside in a savings account from each paycheck. 
You WILL need this money to pay your taxes so you are not caught off guard in April next year!

  • Don’t cheat on your taxes, you idiot.  Have integrity.  Don’t file for bankruptcy.  If you make a mistake and owe someone something, pay them back as much as you can afford every paycheck/month until you have paid them back in full. 
  • Keep a budget and stay within it.  Consider dividing up your paycheck into three buckets, like this:  Spend (Bills + Food + Reasonable Entertainment), Save, Give (even if it’s just a tiny little bit).  When you get a raise, don’t put it in the “Spend” bucket – SAVE IT.
A simple philosophy that will change your life. Get it used for $1, or just study the wiki page.

No matter how much money you have, it requires DISCIPLINE. 
Start your discipline right now. 

Don’t tell yourself that you’ll be more financially responsible later! 

When is later?  “When” is RIGHT NOW.  Set yourself up for financial success.

Alternatives to the 4-Year Degree

CAVEATS:  You know what’s best for you. Your parents/family should certainly weigh in on this decision. You and/or your parents know what you can afford, or want to afford/how much debt you want to go into as well as what kind(s) of school you can or desire to get into.

But we just wanted to give you a few things to consider as you make any of these types of decisions about the next steps in your education.

First of all, this is not to talk anyone out of a 4-year degree. We both have multiple degrees and are glad we do. I am the first person on either side of my family to get a degree.  We just want to remind you that there are OTHER OPTIONS out there if you wish to investigate them. Repeat: We are not bashing 4-year degree programs or the opportunity to go to university and your dream school!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Community Colleges / Associates Degrees

The American culture has spent the last several decades (since the 70’s and 80’s) brainwashing everyone into believing that all young people must have a bachelor’s degree in order to succeed.  This is not necessarily true. And guess what happened?  A SERIOUS shortage in the skilled trades. You can find many articles on this topic in a heartbeat. Some are calling it a “CRISIS”!

Which means if you want a job as a mechanic, nurse, welder or electrician, just to name a few, good paying jobs are ripe for the picking!  If 4 years of college academics isn’t for you, you’re in luck.  Especially if you prefer to work with your hands, or just can’t stand the idea of a 40-hour-a-week desk job!   

“There are an estimated 30 million jobs that pay at least $55,000 per year and don’t require a bachelor’s degree.

– PBS News Hour, 2018

High Paying Trade Jobs Sit Empty While High School Grads Line Up for University.”

NPR, 2018

Sources: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/education/decades-pushing-bachelors-degrees-u-s-needs-tradespeople; and, https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/04/25/605092520/high-paying-trade-jobs-sit-empty-while-high-school-grads-line-up-for-university

Apprenticeships: Trade/Industrial/Vocational School

Alongside 2-year Associates degrees, we see a trend in engineering companies and the trades paying for students’ schooling while they work on the job. In Michigan, for example, MAT² is a website that publishes all the jobs that include training for high school graduates at specific community colleges.  What better way to get trained AND paid at the same time?

Here’s an example:

Apprenticeship Programs at Brose

Our award-winning Brose Apprenticeship Programs prepare you for a career in advanced manufacturing by combining on-the-job and in-the-classroom training. You will earn your Associate’s Degree while getting paid* to work at Brose. Upon successful completion of the program, you will have a guaranteed job and highly marketable skills.

*Compensation can be a combination of tuition reimbursement, hourly wages, and a living stipend. Exact amount varies by location and can be discussed during interviews.

Armed Forces:  Army, Navy, Air Force, National Reserves, Coast Guard, Marines

The military offers many options before, during, after or instead of a four-year-college degree. 

Maybe you want to go to college but don’t know if you can afford it and/or you’re not sure of what you want to choose as a career. (Or maybe neither of those are true, you would just like to serve in the military).  Definitely check out your options, including ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corp) with your school counselor. 

Each branch of the armed services has recruitment centers where they can walk you through the process and answer your questions in a completely transparent manner.  All college classes taken while serving in the armed forces and after will be paid for under the GI Bill.

Over the years I have taught many stellar young men and woman who enlisted.  In 2016, I got the opportunity to actually attend Marine Educator Boot Camp in Parris Island, SC.  For four days, I lived and performed like a recruit. (I say “performed”… I tried to scale a 10-foot wall and repel down a building.)  I have total respect for the Globe and Anchor and for every single recruit that leaves boot camp as a Marine.  A life of service can bring stability, a vocation, travel and a brotherhood. You will leave with a competitive skill set that many employers need and want.

Gap Year, Peace Corp Year, Travel Abroad, etc.

It is very European to do a “Gap Year”, taking a year off between high school or college and your next phase to travel the world. There are some advantages too. The business Insider magazine suggested that there are five.

  • Accelerated Maturity
  • Improved Academic Performance
  • Gain a New Perspective
  • A Chance to Re-focus
  • Improve Career Opportunities

I say go for it! If your parents approve, you are street smart and you have friends and family you can crash with, around the world – DO IT!  Even take a few language immersion classes along the away and you can be bi- or tri-lingual when you get back. I didn’t take a traditional gap year, but I did Nanny / Au Pair in the USA, for the long summers that college gives you. That’s an option too instead of a whole year!

I am a huge fan of service projects abroad.  This type of work wakes you up to how good we have it.  Whether it’s a full year working for the Peace Corp or a mission trip to Guatemala to build a house, take any opportunity to serve.  It looks phenomenal on your resume and it’s definitely a connection topic in an interview or at a networking event. 

Considerations on a 4-Year Degree: In-State, Out-of-State, Community College and Scholarships

  • There is NO reason to pay out of state tuition for your college degree. Unless you have a VERY specialized major that you can’t find at an in state university (e.g. veterinary school, etc.)
  • Want to save even more money? Go to a community college for your first year of school, or take summer classes to fulfill requirements (make sure your credits will transfer before you enroll!) You must seek advice with a college admissions counselors and have something put in writing if you do this.
  • If you are offered a full-ride scholarship to a school that is not your first or second or even third choice school, please take it anyway for your undergraduate degree.  You will save yourself and your family $100,000 of debt. Then you can pay or finance grad school, which is a fraction of the cost.  It pains me to hear of a student who turns down a full ride because it’s not their dream school!  Don’t participate in the branding / brain-washing machine!

Warm regards,

Karen

P.S. Michigan students, A Few More Things to Know For Post-high School

Fact: “There will be 811,000 high-wage, high-demand career openings through 2024 in the state of Michigan.” (Marshall Plan, 2018)

Problem: How do we get Michigan students trained and qualified to meet these career requirements?

The good news is that legislation has just been passed to expose high school students to alternatives to a 4-year degree.  The high school diploma is not enough to meet the skills gap. Certification, Licensure, Associates degrees and traditional 4-year degree are all valid options.  In 2018, only 43.7% of Michigan students earned post-secondary credentials. It is the goal of this new plan to raise this to a lofty 60%. 

So how will this happen?   

  • Develop, retain and attract talent in the strongest, fastest growing industries
  • Keep graduates from Michigan’s universities in Michigan. Over a third (38%) of Michigan’s graduates left the state in 2017.
  • Fill the jobs we have open now.

High School Exposure

To expose high school students to opportunities in the trades, a go-to website has been created called Going PRO in Michigan.  This is an excellent resource that all schools now need to embed into their curriculum in the 2019/20 school year.

  • Education Development Plan
  • Talent Portfolio
  • Career Development Education
  • Career Information/Counseling
  • School Improvement Plan
  • Work-Based Learning
  • Job Application Skills

Here’s a way to get your Associates degree paid for.  The MI opportunity will offer debt free pathways, if you qualify through FAFSA.  See info below. 

Alternatives to the 4-Year Degree.

The Importance of Planning

If you don’t already have one, it is time to buy a week-at-a-glance planner, some nice pens and some highlighters. Life is crazy. If juggle 100+ things in a week, how are you ever going to be proactive and do more than just what you NEED to do? How will you fit it all in?

If you don’t know whats going on in tomorrow, let alone, next week, how are you ever going to function effectively and with a sense of peace and a smile on your face?

This may seem really old school compared to the online calendars, to-do lists and meeting notifications you get on your phone. Maybe this even could be a tad redundant in many people’s eyes. You maybe right. However, I really believe in the power of writing things down to unleash an action and the ability to look at a whole week (or month) at once.

I love lists, I love crossing things off and getting s**t done! If you try a paper planner, you’ll see the benefit of looking at the bigger picture, (vs. online calendars) and the joy and sense of satisfaction and making and accomplishing your lists.

A planner and January goals in one take

I’ve (Karen) been a teacher for 20 years, so Sunday nights have always been a planning and logistics night. By having a planner with the week laid out, I can juggle work, a husband that travels, two children, two dogs, a household, my personal well-being and a social life.

To be able to plan, you will need the following:

  • 20 minutes of time, once a week (sunday night or Monday morning is best)
  • A “Week-at-a-Glance” planner
  • Pens and highlighters
  • Sticky Notes
Amazon is a planner’s best friend. Here are some suggestions of things you might like.

Step One: Open up your planner to today’s week. (You don’t have to start at the beginning of the year, but if it’s December, you might as well wait until January.) Add all of the blocks of time you are at work, school, vacation, sports, meetings or events you have planned and anything else you do on a regular basis. Pick a color for each priority in your life. Don’t forget to add blocks of time for “family fun” and ” Me” time!

Step Two: Now think about three to five action items that you need to get done and write them each on a separate sticky note and add them to your week at the side. It can be anything from “Go to Costco”, “Renew Driver’s License” or “Find a Yoga Class” or even, “Schedule lunch with Kim”. As you complete them, check them off. This will feel so good and reaffirm what else needs doing. If they don’t get done that week, move the sticky note to next week’s plan. No pressure, its just a good way to remember things you wanted to do and get them done.

Step Three: I always like to challenge myself on a weekly basis to do something nice for others. A simple challenge to thank people or give back in a small way is important to maintain a community and it makes you feel good. Make it a mission to pay for the Starbucks in the car behind you at the drive through. Complement a friend (or stranger’s) outfit or hair cut. Donate some old towels or blankets to the Humane Society.

You can find Random Acts of Kindness calendars on Google.

Step Four: You may want to just start with a week at first. But as soon as you get the hang of it, you will look farther into your month and maybe start planning some career, family or future goals. It does become quite addictive. An example of a graphic organizer I created in January is above. It was a great way to track my weight, workouts, spending and family goals that month. The key is consistency. Make it a priority to plan your week!

Final Thoughts:

  • Remember this should only take 20 -30 minutes of time a week. Do not labor over this or you will not maintain it.
  • Try and keep track of the color highlight you use. Add a legend or key until you learn which highlighter color is for what.
  • IMPORTANT: Learn to say no! When you see the scope of your week and it’s full – or needs to save room for YOU time, try using one of the following to say no!
    ~ “While my heart wants to say yes yes yes, the reality of my time makes this a no.
  • ~ “I am honored by your request but I’m in a season of refocusing my priorities and have committed not to add anything new right now.” ~ ” Thank you for thinking of me . Your project sounds wonderful. However, as much as I would love to be involved, I can’t give your project my full attention it deserves.”
    ~ Also, remember that “No.” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to make it flowery. A simple, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” is a good answer as well.
  • Don’t forget to schedule in some “Me” time, time to see your “folks”, exercise, go for a relaxing walk; anything that can help you de-stress, connect and find joy!
  • One tip from Kim is to do the things that you DON’T really want to do – the things that you want to put off – FIRST. (e.g. Ugh. I don’t want o make that phone call or submit my expense reports! DO IT! Just get them out the way.+) Aren’t you sick of seeing them on your to-do list? Cross them off! Talk about a sense of satisfaction!

I wish you all the best in your planning endeavors. Please comment below with any tips or tricks you use to manage this crazy life!

Lots of Love,

Karen xxxx

The Importance of Planning.

The Mystery of “Networking” Revealed

For some of you (not including the extreme extroverts who just LOVE meeting new people), the word “networking” makes you cringe.   The purpose of this blog is to not only remove the cringy-ness of networking but also to explain what it REALLY is and to convince you of how important it is and, most importantly, how easy and natural networking actually is to do.

Here are three questions we will address:

What is “networking”, really?

Why do I need a network?

How do I start networking and build my network?

Here we go.

What is “networking”? 

(And, of course we will talk about what it is NOT, for clarity.)

Networking is something that you do… and a network is something you build… over your whole adult life.  It is a living, breathing, expanding process of building a community of people that support each other.

Networking can be as simple as talking to your friends, teachers, colleagues, classmates, neighbors, group members (doctor, vet, pharmacist, etc.)… Your “network” is everyone you know:   ALSO, your friends’ friends and your family’s friends, your peers’ and colleagues’ network of people. 

And if you find people interesting and you are a curious person (note that I did not say extroverted), you’ll find that networking can be easy and enjoyable. At the very least, it should not be difficult or painful, but you DO have to put yourself in a position to build your network.

  • Networking is NOT asking people for a job
  • It is NOT passing around your resume. 
  • It is NOT one-sided or selfish.
  • Networking doesn’t have to be formal or organized. 
  • It is NOT a one-time “event” that you suffer through. 

Ideally the people in this network are people that you’ve actually interacted with at some point, and you like and respect each other.  A network of people works towards the symbiotic (great word, look it up) support of the people around them. That whole community thing.  “Networking” creates MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL (there, I gave away the definition of ‘symbiotic’) RELATIONSHIPS.

Networking is about building mutually-beneficial relationships.

There are also many, more “formal” networking groups, industry professional or student clubs and organizations that exist for the purpose of educating and connecting people in an industry or business (or social) community. These can be fun and helpful. These groups are typically organized, run by a leadership committee, meet regularly and forge long-term relationships among people who are truly interested in their industry, staying up with trends, and inspire, connect and motivate each other towards success, both personally and professionally.

WHY do I need a network?

You are FAR more likely to find a job – throughout your career—by networking than by applying for posted jobs online. 

You should not underestimate this statement. 

Statistically, “70 percent of people ended up in their current position thanks to networking. Others say it’s more like 80 percent or even 85 percent.”

(source:  https://www.payscale.com/career-news/2017/04/many-jobs-found-networking.

The nature of the job market, according to Right Management, is that about 70% of positions are not posted online, but rather are pending, hidden/unpublished, created/opened for the right person.  Only 30% of jobs are actually posted online.

Personally, I’ve held about eight jobs in my career (and interviewed for another 25) and most I heard about through “the grapevine” (my network) or someone specifically referred me (or a recruiter called me).  I rarely, if ever, interviewed for any job that I applied for online.

More importantly, since leaving my job and starting my freelancing business earlier this year, I’ve received ALL of my work through friends’ and former colleagues’ referrals of me to others. My wonderful network is coming through for me in ways I never imagined.

So, the point is, you are WAY better off investing your time in PEOPLE: meeting, listening and talking to them (and building your LinkedIn network) than you are scrolling through online job sites.

“But, Kim and Karen!’ you say. “I’m in high school.  Why do I need a network?” Well, who will recommend you for a summer job or college internship?  Who will say to a potential employer, “Oh, hey, my neighbor/son’s friend/babysitter/kid’s baseball coach is looking for a job like that!” Or, “Hey, if you’re looking for work, I know someone…” Who will write a letter of recommendation for trade school, college or graduate school? 

It’s never too early to start building your network. Okay, so…

How do you build a network?

Newsflash:  The good news is that you probably already have one even if you don’t know it.  It consists of everyone you know.  Your phone contacts, your email contacts, your classmates, your teachers/professors, your employers… What you NEED to do is try to capture that network somewhere (again, I suggest LinkedIn). Connect with all these people.

If you’re still in high school, your network is your friends, your friends’ parents, your teachers, coaches, church community, sports community, people you might have worked with or served on clubs and committees with. Of course, your bosses, which might be your neighbors, or people you babysat for or did yard work for.

Think of it as creating a small, simple relationship with everyone you meet. 

It goes like this:

“Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. So, tell me about yourself?  How interesting. Could you tell me more about that?  How did you get into that?  Did you study that in school? Tell me about your career path.  I’m interested in _____.   Do you know anyone who does that? Really? Where does she work? Would you mind introducing me? I would really like to talk to them about how they got into that.”

Okay, so I’m over-simplifying.  But here are your objectives for networking: 

  • LEARNING about jobs, industries, companies. ANY of them.
  • Learning about people and experiences and opinions.  BEING INTERESTED.
  • Asking questions. Asking for advice.  Asking for introductions.  Asking for informational interviews. 
  • Helping others do the same. 

Here are some critical networking statements: 

  • “How did you get your job in ____?  Could you tell me a little about your career path?”
  • “What do you like most about your job? What is most challenging?”
  •  “Do you have any advice for me about building a career in ____?” 
  • “Would you have some time to talk to me further about your career/job? Would it be appropriate for me to job shadow you or someone at your company? Would it be possible for me to come in for an informational interview?”
  • “Do you mind if I connect with you on LinkedIn?”
  • MOST IMPORTANT:  “THANK YOU so much for your time.  I really appreciate you talking to me about this!”
  • SECOND MOST IMPORTANT:  “Is there anyone else that you would suggest I talk to?” “May I use your name? Would you mind introducing me to that person?”

Remember that networking is a two-way street.  You can always offer to help someone else if the situation arises. (examples:  Write businesses positive reviews on Yelp! and Google. Endorse people and write them recommendations on LinkedIn.  Refer employees.  Send an interesting article. Offer THEIR kid an informational interview or to job shadow YOU once you have a job.)

There you have it.  Networking is a life-long process and it is very valuable to invest in.

Think of networking like professional (and sometimes personal) karma.
If it’s sincere, you get back what you put out into the universe.

Karma or not, rather than intimidating and painful, networking should be informative and enjoyable. And trust us when we say it will pay off for you over the long run… and the very long run.

The Mystery of Networking.